1. Know Thyself
“Be in the World with Authentic Self-Hood.” (Charles Christiansen, OT) Get to know yourself better. Know who you are, what you stand for and what your likes and dislikes are. How well do you know your own body? Do you know what feels good for you? Do you know how to give yourself pleasure and take care of your own needs?
2. Strive for Wellness.
What feeds your Soul? Strive to be more aware of how healthfully you eat/drink/exercise and care for your body and soul. How do you manage stress? Getting regular exercise and getting your body moving is not only great for your heart but also helps to relieve stress and boost energy in everything you do! Participate in meaningful activities (to you) EVERYDAY.
3. Care for Your Relationship.
“Real intimacy depends on truth-lovingly told-especially in the bedroom” (Joyce Brothers) Work on achieving depth as a couple. Break free from negative patterns of communication by acknowledging them. Aim to give your partner the loving attention he or she deserves. Establish rituals together. Plan activities and set goals together both for the short and long term. Keep it exciting!
4. Carve Out Time.
Create the time and aim for quality (especially if you don’t have quantity!). Find a window, even if you have busy lives. Caring for the relationship requires time set aside for each other. The more you and your partner strive for sexual wellness both individually and together, the more you’ll want to carve out time every day for it.
5. Seek to Achieve Balance
The trickiest thing in life is balance, but when you come close to achieving it, you know because you feel happier! Strive to achieve balance between Work/Play/Self Care/Care Giving/Time for Self/Time for Relationship Building. When your time tips too far in one direction (too much time working for example) then simply become aware and balance it back out.
6. Have Sex Often!
Break Free from Routine and Mix Things Up! Don’t fall into the trap of same place, same way mentality! There are so many ways to experience pleasure and deepen intimacy together. Try adding sex toys for fun pleasure play and add lubrication for additional pleasure too.
For those interested in breaking free from routine and trying something newFor those interested in breaking free from routine and trying something new
A Guide To Creating More Romance in 3 Simple Steps-Free
A sought-after presenter and teacher at colleges, sex-positive stores, and events across North America and Canada, Reid Mihalko is known for his charisma, integrity, and emphasis on using humor to make people comfortable talking about sex, intimacy, and relationships. His ability to present information in a comedic and knowledgeable manner is unparalleled.
Reid has been a featured speaker, presenter, and keynote at dozens of conferences on relationships and sexuality. The workshops he’s designed continue to be taught all over the world and have been attended by over 40,000 people. He has been a writer and producer on a number of films and television projects about sex and relationships, and he appears regularly in the media as an expert on subjects ranging from consent to jealousy to sexual confidence and relationship self-esteem.
In this E-Book:
Would you like simple ways to create more romance quickly and easily? Reid shares his top techniques for helping your partner feel loved and appreciated!
The bonus? These techniques are surprisingly simple and powerful, and once you start seeing your partner’s response, they’ll be super easy to remember to do!
It only takes a few minutes a day to create more romance, once you know the secrets… and your partner’s particular ways of feeling cared about. You’ll be surprised how simple it is to tell your partner how much you love them, and have that land, once you know their language.
Click here for your free download!
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I’ve had this catchy title in my head for awhile now and, since I haven’t been able to recruit my male peers to write on this topic… yet, I decided to take it on myself. Men, you can thank me later!
I get questions frequently from heterosexual couples about our “share” toys shop.passionatesexcompany.com. People basically ask, “What do you do with it?” I simply answer that you put one side in each of you. People usually say, “Ohhh”, who haven’t thought about or tried this type of play with their partner before. This question always leads me to the next topic: For someone who has never tried anal/prostate play before then perhaps you might consider it? It is a way of opening the door to new possible ways of experiencing pleasure together. With so many nerve endings, the anal region is one of the most erogenous zones of the body! With this being said, you might decide not to start with a share toy, but better yet, work up to it! (Think of it like this, for people who are out of shape, they might be uncomfortable jumping up and going on a 3 mile run! But with that being said, I know someone who won’t run for months and then jump into a marathon, so it really depends on the person!) For most people, I would recommend starting with exploring the area with touch, in a very thoughtful and conscious way where you ask your partner what feels good for him in the anal region. Then, you could try a simple vibe/plug like the ass-vibe to get a feel for playing with the area with vibration and/or during vaginal intercourse. Later, if the male partner finds that he enjoys this stimulation and wants to try some prostate play, then you may decide to explore further by penetrating the area with a finger or a product like Aneros Peridise Complete Set – 4 piece which gives you 4 devices of various diameters to try at your comfort level. When you’re ready, you could try a strap-on or a share toy which come in 3 sizes. (FYI, The neologism “pegging” refers to a woman penetrating a man with a strap-on.)
Many men might think, “If I try it, and I like it, then does that mean I’m gay?” Many men who are sexually attracted to women enjoy anal stimulation/prostate play. Men who explore this area of their bodies are curious about what their bodies are capable of and find that this type of sexual play can be incredibly erotic! In a safe, trusting relationship (with lube of course), it can be a very pleasurable and fun experience for both partners. This is another way for couples to explore their sexuality together and a certified way of mix things up!
How One Spouse Can Lead the Other Back to Intimacy
Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D. is best known as author of the internationally best selling book, His Needs, Her Needs: Building An Affair-proof Marriage, here he writes about how one spouse can lead the other back to intimacy.
While demanding and arguing is instinctive in the state of Conflict, one spouse can lead the other back to Intimacy by resisting the Taker’s temptation to fight. It takes two to argue, and if one spouse makes an effort to avoid making demands and judgmental statements, and tries to be thoughtful and meet the other’s needs, the other spouse usually calms down and does the same thing.
Once they see each other’s caring efforts, and rebuild their Love Bank accounts, they re-enter the Intimacy stage. But there’s an irony that trips up some couples. Which spouse do you think is the first to move back into the state of Intimacy: the one who makes the first effort to meet the other’s needs, or the recipient of that effort? You may have guessed it. The recipient of care is usually the first to return to the state of intimacy, and not the one who make the greatest effort to save the relationship.
If you set a good example by meeting your spouse’s needs first, alas, that usually means that your own needs are met last. Your Taker is not pleased with this arrangement, and may try to sabotage it. You will need to make a deliberate and patient effort to override the Taker’s instinct to retreat back to fighting and name-calling. But if you resist that instinct to argue, and instead focus attention on behaving thoughtfully and meeting your spouse’s needs, your spouse will be encouraged to reciprocate.
In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life
In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
And where you invest your love, you invest your life
(Mumford & Sons-Awake My Soul)
How many times have you looked your loved one in his or her beautiful eyes during a time of conflict and thought to yourself–“Why don’t you understand me?”
You think you’ve expressed yourself clearly…You’ve used the best non-violent communication you know, “I” statements, and even still, he/she stands there, just looking at you, not getting you at all. This is a frustrating time in a relationship.
You want closeness and intimacy with your loved one, but you need to first get to a place of understanding in order to have it.. You want to understand and be understood and more than anything, you want to feel each other’s love.
There have been thousands of books written on the differences in the way men/women communicate, the way different personality types communicate, the way people who were brought up with very different role models communicate, the way people with different astrological signs communicate, etc., etc..
But, I really like how Dr. Gary Chapman breaks it down for us in his book The 5 Love Languages (which has been read by millions of people around the world). He recommends that when we learn our partner’s love language, we know better how to fill their “Love tank”. Do you say “I love you,” or, Do you show your love with an action or gift? Do you offer a loving touch? Or, Do you give quality time?
What does your loved one need?
If we can know how to love in easy moments, then times of conflict become less difficult.
Restore intimacy in your relationship by first filling each others “Love Tanks.”
Once you feel the love you desire, the intimacy you crave comes naturally.
The Best Sex Writing 2013
The Best Sex Writing series has has fundamentally changed the way people think—and what they say—about sexuality. Once again, Rachel Kramer Bussel has collected the year’s most challenging and provocative nonfiction articles on this endlessly evocative subject. The essays here comprise a detailed, direct survey of the contemporary American sexual landscape. Major commentators examine the many roles sex plays in our lives in these literate and lively essays. Judged by the Dr. Carol Queen, who is without peer, this stunning collection of sexsmart essays is sure to stir the heart, the brain, as well as other major organs.
Adventurous Couples Guide to Sex Toys (2nd Edition)
With a practical sex-positive approach to pleasure, Violet Blue leads readers through the maze of toys for adults. She explains the many options now available, how to use lubricant to enhance your experiences, care and cleaning, where to find reputable shops—and how to send your sensuality quotient soaring with the right tools to bring you and your partner closer than ever. Nothing says “sexy” like giving a sex toy to your lover.
Got 12 minutes a day?
Want to have sex every day, but you and your partner just don’t have the time?
Think again! If you can find 12 minutes in your day…you CAN have satisfying sex with your partner. Every. Single. Day. Have electrifying sex in new ways with 75 quick and dirty scenarios you can do in 12 minutes or less.
Recent studies suggest that both men and women can reach peak arousal in just 12 minutes—which means you can fit in a little sex-capade while the cupcakes are baking, or the kids are outside playing, or during half-time, or anytime you feel like it! The secret lies in knowing some well-positioned techniques and moves, which is exactly what you’ll find inside the pages of The 12-Minute Sex Solution.